I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it glows. i had to have it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
