But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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