dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
