Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
