Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
