I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
