i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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