I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
