So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
are you so shy because you have an std?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
be right there i have to get my cape
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
