I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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