i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
