this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This is my gift to your gina
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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