im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize