She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
