He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it penis luge time yet?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i need some magic done to my vagina
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
