do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
