please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
