so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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