at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
