And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
