oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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