Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
