Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
His nipple licking is glorious
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