i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
