Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize