I hate all girls vehemently.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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