We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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