i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
