My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
