The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize