Whoa Z and x make the same sound
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Send help, water and tortillas.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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