is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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