I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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