I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize