my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
