Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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