Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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