I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Panties = found
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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