I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
