why im i the only drunk person in the library?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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