dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
