i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
