Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
