Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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