My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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