I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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