I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
