I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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