i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize