how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
