i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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