Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
