Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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