How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize