My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
