Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
