Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
