Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
