Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
