i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
