ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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