i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
