I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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