I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
