So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
