shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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