He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
