I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
