Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize