you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
