i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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