On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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