do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
