Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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