The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
