4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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