Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
