Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
